


Prism

by mari_aye



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Canon Compliant, Character Study, How Do I Tag, I think?, M/M, Mutual Pining, Pining, Pre-Relationship, Pre-Slash, Rain, hoshihina, this took me way too long, underwater kissing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-17
Updated: 2020-07-17
Packaged: 2021-03-04 22:08:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,207
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25333684
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mari_aye/pseuds/mari_aye
Summary: His thoughts were all music notes contradicting each other and clashing messily. Kourai forced himself to relax and harmonize it all. He closed his eyes and Hinata Shouyou sang citrus.Kourai wanted to smash his head against the wall. This headache hurt so much, and the water was so, so cold.
Relationships: Hinata Shouyou & Hoshiumi Kourai, Hinata Shouyou/Hoshiumi Kourai
Comments: 11
Kudos: 43





	Prism

A slow, underwhelming crack of thunder drowns the songs of the dawn, shedding tears onto the street Hoshiumi Kourai is walking on. A summer morning drizzle patters on his transparent umbrella, colours bleeding through the clear plastic like stained glass. The smell of thunder hangs in the air as scant rains fall sweet.

His footsteps are the only sound accompanying the thunder, mind in the skies. And from there, he imagines wings. 

_Angelic and black soot. Wings that are casted with the colours of the very prisms that paint the blues. Wings that flash by like lightning- bright and fleeting._ He walks. 

_Where to?_ He doesn't know. He just walks as his mind runs.

It's really about time when Kourai catches up with his mind, dashing across empty streets, caution a foreign thing to him. 

His eyes wander to bright street lights that _really_ should have been turned off at this time, and unwelcomed images of bare feet dancing around in the slightly risen water plague his thoughts; and before he knows it, he almost runs into a telephone pole.

Stumbling, he thinks his caution is replaced by fireflies, because he doesn't slow down- he doesn't dim. He closes up his umbrella haphazardly and suspends the handle from his backpack. The drizzle amplifies marginally and the sky brightens, relentless. 

Eyes back on the deserted road, he wipes raindrops from his eyes and sprints again.

And before clouds blanket the sky, the momentum of colours that stuck to him like a caloric burst through the gym doors, reviving every memory in such _vivid_ colours it makes his heart grow with pride. He throws his half-soaked bag aside and heads for the locker room.

When he returns from the showers all dried up, his mind sees bronze. When he picks up a ball from the carts on the end line, tosses it up and runs with it, he sees honey. When he pushes himself _up up up_ off the ground and reunites with the ball, slamming it over the net, he sees amber. 

_Amber_.

An odd, urgent feeling washes over him, making his hair stand up on its ends. His chest swells and little circuits of electricity start to graze his skin. He's felt it before, but only once- Kourai still doesn't quite recognise it. 

_Fear?_ No, he knew what that felt like. 

_Hunger?_ Close, but not exactly. 

Whatever it was, it drove him to jump, hang in the air- again and again.

It takes thirty minutes of continuous serving and thoughts fogged with _amber amber amber_ , for him to sit on the hardwood court floor. His skin still buzzes as he immediately misses the phantom relief of water, chest heaving. 

He screws his eyes shut and lets the static in his mind take over, the pitch of it all ringing into Kourai's ears, his body almost losing sense of gravity and falling sideways. He reopens his eves, and darkness clears from the edges of his vision. He stands abruptly and walks towards where the water bottles are kept. 

As he walks out from the end line, he sees Hinata Shouyou, a first year again, elements exhausted and fallen like a phoenix on the court.

•

The illusion broke, Kourai's eyes widened and watched Hinata Shouyou _fly_. Beautifully arced, the number ten etched across his back on his orange jersey- and when he reached the clouds, the boy _roared_.

And Kourai listened. He watched his every step like he was the most alien thing to him, watched him run across the court and collect points left and right. 

Kourai realised Hinata Shouyou is a sort of comfort to the team; a weapon honed so sharp and perfectly, that his freedom meant everyone's freedom. Hinata Shouyou unknowingly had put stars in Kourai's eyes. Kourai heard him call, so he answered, not wasting any time.

Hinata Shouyou soared. Kourai ripped through the sky with him, watching him shoot through the cloudsー

_angelic and black soot. Wings that were casted with the colours of the very prisms that paint the blues_

ーgetting faster and faster to what seemed like an infinite zenith. Until it wasn't, until his soul became restless.

Kourai thought Hinata Shouyou's caution was replaced by fireflies, because he didn't slow down, he glowed brighter. Brighter and brighter as his presence grew ten folds, all eyes on him. The world was watching him, but Hinata Shouyou chose to watch Kourai.

_Eyes burning amber._

Kourai raced through the heavens along with him, diving and soaring, shedding obsidian and granite feathers and touching new skies and _oh_ \- 

Hinata Shouyou was so, _so_ blinding to watch.

The boy shone like the sun during a storm. Reckless and unstoppable. His body wore down. Like a star burning its last moles of silicon before it all stopped. For a second, there was peace, but then everything happened all at once. Hinata Shouyou fell, wingless and ashened. He shed imprinted feathers as evidence of the boy who flew too high, as evidence of the boy who flew too far. 

Kourai didn't take any of it. To him, Hinata Shouyou wasn't the boy whose wings melted away, Hinata Shouyou wasn't the boy who flew _too_ high- Hinata Shouyou was the boy who flew _so_ high, Hinata Shouyou was the boy who touched the sun.

And he gave Kourai a piece of it. 

_A piece of bronze, a piece of honey, a piece of amber, a piece of citrus._

He saw it all flash urgently as Hinata Shouyou fell, splitting the sky in two.

So Kourai gave him a piece of him too. A promise that wove delicate, fine threads between them, a declaration of war that will have lasted an eternity.

And Hinata Shouyou took it. 

He bowed deeply from outside the end line, and Kourai stared at him through the net- watched the mess of citrus curls rise up again with a firmer, more determined look.

Something swelled inside Kourai and seeped through the little cracks worn in him like honey. It then crackled wildly and tiny sparklers stung his skin. Chills ran down Kourai's arms, and his insides lit up in flames. 

_This_ was foreign to him. The feeling of his ribcage going up in a wildfire was foreign to him. 

_Hinata Shouyou_ was foreign to him.

And Kourai hated it all. 

Because he didn't know how to deal with all of this going on inside the four pulsing valves of his heart. 

So he did the only thing he could: he silenced them. He told himself " _you've said enough_ " and shut up the rest of the match.

He scored like normal, blocked like normal, served like normal, received like normal- but an empty feeling of sort (this time he can actually name it) plagued his heart and mind instead. It carved his bones hollow, and Kourai went on autopilot: not at his best, but just enough. 

He thought there was no point in bringing one hundred percent of him when he wasn't not there on the court with him.

He took the win, hands full yet so open.

Hinata Shouyou came into his life, like a season. Not for long, just for some time before he inevitably leaves again. 

Like how a wave returns to the sea, like how flowers close up at night, like how stars fade in the morning.

Those promised threads stretched invisible as Hinata Shouyou flew to the opposite side of the world for the winter. And Kourai is left alone at his own zenith- only his wings haloed the sun as he looked up at the brightest star of the morning.

•

"What's it like to fly in an aeroplane?" Kourai asks, fingers drumming on the cold metal of the railing. 

A slow, underwhelming crack of thunder drowns the hum of cars below them, a cool autumn drizzle freezing the night. It's Friday, and the week _finally_ feels tolerable enough. The crisp November breeze stings Kourai's cheeks as a cloudy sky weeps onto the city below it.

Even though it's supposed to be freezing out in the open, Kourai doesn't at all feel cold when he leans against the cold metal on his little apartment balcony. 

Hinata is with him, six years older, seated near the edge of it, legs inserted between railings and letting them dangle off.

"Oh, not much- if anything it's _really_ stuffy," Hinata says, "the take-offs and landings are fun, though. Kinda scary, but fun," Hinata finishes as little wisps of air escape his lips.

"Fun how?" Kourai's eyes are fixed on a wild looking tree somewhere near the right side of the convenience store.

"Like, it makes you feel all tingly and giddy and _bwaaah_! But then when it starts to leave the ground like," he slides his hand through the air, "you feel like you'll fall. It's kinda scary, but then you get used to it," he leans back to grab another protein bar.

_'You get used to it,' Kourai hopes._

"Huh," He smiles, because his heart says so, "how the heck does a thousand-ton metal bird stay in the air?" Hinata laughs honey.

"Beats me- we probably learned it in high school and then immediately forgot." Kourai snorts.

"My Ma really liked talking about stars. Y'know: supernovae, black holes, neutron stars- you name it, she'll probably talk about it for hours," Kourai says.

" _Aaah_ ," Hinata softly whispers out, "I feel like she'd get along with Yachi-san well."

"Ah, yeah- I saw Kageyama's gift for her-," Kourai takes another sip, liquid flowing like lava into the back of his throat, "at first, I got worried because _Kageyama_ leaving a bookstore with a huge book isn't something you see everyday." And Hinata laughs again and Kourai grins toothily.

"You should've seen what he got _me_ on my birthday," Hinata says in a long, weak voice.

"What was it?" Kourai's voice is laced with amusement and Hinata's grin is a bit too forceful when he looks Kourai dead in the eye.

"A tetra-pack of mango milk," Hinata's voice wavered and Kourai laughs until he stumbles against the wall. Hinata holds his head in his hands and lets out a suffering groan.

"So like," Kourai snickers, "it's a package that screams _'I dare you_ '. What did you do with it?"

"I still have it!" Hinata bursts and throws his arms in the air. A beat.

"You still have it?!" Kourai yells back incredulously, "Shouldn't you have thrown it out?! Or do... whatever people with lactose intolerance do with dairy?" Hinata laughs nervously.

"It's still in my fridge! Every morning, I have to deal with trying not to grab a box!" 

"How is it difficult to avoid something that's bad for you?" Kourai regrets what he says immediately, but Shouyou doesn't seem to mind.

"How can you avoid something so-" Hinata creates circles with his hands as words seem to momentarily fail him, " _-perfect?"_

Kourai suddenly finds watching an ant scuttle up the walls exciting. Another beat of silence. Kourai goes back to leaning against the railing.

"I'm gonna have to empty out your fridge next time I visit," Kourai says, eyes scanning the street below him for that weird looking tree again.

"Hurry up then, I can't keep fighting my love for mangos," Hinata drawls playfully.

Kourai hums and slowly brings the beer can to his lips and takes a slow, meagre sip, and locks eyes with the man below him.

_Amber_. 

Holding the magnitude of a black hole.

The beer burns against his tongue once more and it all lights up in a fire inside him. 

_Ah, there it is again._

Kourai chokes on the liquid and uses this as an excuse to avert eyes. Embers burn up his throat and he coughs hard to get rid of it all.

Hinata then slides his legs back up from the railing and pushes himself up to look Kourai in the eye again. He plucks the near empty beer can from Kourai's hands and slowly downs its remains.

"You're choosing movies today," Hinata grins, not breaking eye contact for a long second. Flames lick Kourai's rib cage and those amber marbles feel like sparks.

"I'm gonna go microwave some popcorn. Meet you inside?" Not waiting for an answer, Hinata Shouyou picks up his protein bar wrappers and vanishes behind the door frame.

It feels colder out now, and Kourai _really_ wishes he had worn a jacket. He casts one final look over the balcony at the rain soaked street, watching little rubies appear in front of the red glowing traffic light. 

He smells the comfort of earth, and feels like flowing honey. He picks up another empty beer can and heads back into his living room.

•

He threw the towel over his shoulder, almost stomped into the cubicle, turned the tap and let the water run. All he heard was his own heavy breathing, water running down his ears like a storm. 

The gym showers were quiet, save for the deafening thunder in Kourai's thoughts.

_That **smile**. It almost seemed mocking._

He took a deep breath, an attempt to silence it all. But he couldn't, he just _couldn't_. 

_This isn't fair,_ he repeated to himself and fought the violent urge of wanting to rip his own hair out. 

_Opal smiles._

He should be used to those hungry amber eyes frantically gathering every ounce of improvement they can- he should be used to those amber eyes cutting through the layers of somebody's skin, dissecting their masks, revealing true intentions in a matter of seconds. He _should_ be used to those amber eyes burning like a wildfire. 

Oh, how he wished this cubicle would somehow fill up with water and drown him on the spot.

Wanting to admit these thoughts to himself is shameful for Kourai. And ironically, wanting to admit feeling shame is shameful in and itself. 

He wanted to ignore it all and go about his day without these solar flares pulsing madly at his heart.

But Kourai couldn't, not when those amber eyes were all directed to _him_ instead of volleyball.

His thoughts were all music notes contradicting each other and clashing messily. Kourai forced himself to relax and harmonize it all. He closed his eyes and Hinata Shouyou sang  _ citrus _ . 

Kourai wanted to smash his head against the wall. This headache hurt  _ so _ much, and the water was so,  _ so _ cold.

▪

"It's two to one," honey fills the room as Kourai declares another win, tossing the controller aside and leaning back to choose a celebratory snack. Hinata is laid back next to him, arms splayed on the carpet while his legs remain crossed. 

Kourai instinctively scans the walls for a wall clock to check the time, but he is reminded once more of the pitiful condition of the clock.

Batteryless, arms broken, it lays unfixed on the kitchen counter.

_ How he wishes. _

It doesn't matter anyway; the sunset drips through the window, staining everything in Hinata's living room. The air conditioner is open, a refreshing contrast to the suffocating heat outside. The mundane scent of the air conditioner reminds him of sleep, even if he's wide awake sitting next to the sun.

Hinata's phone rings, and he groans. "It's probably our order. Get up," Kourai says, sipping some from Hinata's half empty box of apple juice.

A second later, Hinata forces himself up and sits straight, bringing his phone to his ear. He greets formally and a series of hums and  _ 'okay' _ s later, Hinata leans against the couch.

"Oh! Okay, thank you! Bye." His cheery, citrus tone masks whatever exhaustion Hinata feels. The moment he brings his phone down from his ear, he looks Kourai dead in the eye.

_ Amber. _

"She says you're an idiot." 

_Nevermind_.

Kourai gives a snickering Hinata a swift kick in the shin.

"You have to go get the food now," Kourai says sternly.

"No I can't."

" _No_ , you have to."

"I don't have legs."

"Rock, paper, scissors." Kourai brings his fist up and Hinata immediately shuffles forward, grinning cheshire.

ー

The night looks the same every hour, Kourai muses. _Abyssal, infinite, enigmatic_. 

_Burning_. Kourai sneezes as the air conditioner's planes point down at him.

After a can of beer to wash down the pizza, Hinata is laying on the couch, wrapped in his blankets because he apparently felt whiny and complained he wasn't comfortable enough.

Kourai checks his phone: it's 11:12 pm, and he's got a million notifications. Kourai half wishes he doesn't have to step outside into the melting night, but then he remembers his own apartment is a mess and needs to be sorted out.

" _Oi_ , Hinata," he shakes a thoroughly annoyed Hinata awake, "I'm going back, it's late."

Hinata looks at him wide eyed, studying him.

And _amber_. But then he smiles citrus and asks Kourai to stay.

_Burning._

Trying to tame the hurricane in his ribcage, Kourai can't say no.

•

Hinata Shouyou kicked off the ground and flew.

_Dangerously_ close to Kourai. 

Form perfect, he hung in the air like a falcon for a second, and then promptly silenced the court with a flick of his wrist, sending the ball hurtling towards the end line with the precision of a needle. 

Something flared inside Kourai. _Again_.

This feeling showed itself a lot these days. Kourai still has no idea what the _heck_ it is, but it lights like plasma somewhere in his ribcage, blooming like flowers through all the little cracks, threatening to spill out everywhere like tiny diamonds.

He grinned and let the emotion return, let it diffuse into every tissue and vessel of his body. " _Damn_ ," is all he could say. 

_Here he goes again_. It was time to show what he's got.

•

Even though Kourai can't breathe, it's okay. 

Water envelopes every inch of his body, locking him in a cold embrace. His feet don't touch the pool floor and his hands are outstretched. 

_Eyes fixed on amber._

But this time, they don't burn. They _melt_ , oozing into the water and into Kourai's thoughts.

Hinata's hair floats like lava, skin glowing. Kourai can count his lashes at this point, freckles like embers speckled onto his cheeks, soft thumbs caressing Kourai's nape. 

Bubbles of air escape their mouths, like deformed marbles when Hinata presses forward.

_Oh, how his lungs light on fire._

His ribcage explodes like a submarine volcano, magma spilling through the spaces, burning bone. Kourai grips Hinata's shoulders, blue and honey marbles obscuring his vision. Hinata's buzzing with electricity, and passes tiny circuits through Kourai's skin whenever he traces shapes on the back of Kourai's neck.

It's too _fast_ , even though Hinata's pace is gentle and careful. Kourai's skin imprints colours as prisms escape their conjoined lips. He can't think.

Kourai's disappointed when Shouyou pulls away, melted amber the art of a glassworker, and he thinks he might faint. Kourai reunites with Shouyou's lips, the fire of his lungs spreading to his lips. 

He is _not_ going to lose. Not to Hinata Shouyou. 

He feels a comforting warmth swell as he feels Hinata smile, and before he knows it, he too is smiling against his lips. Kourai thinks he finally has a name for this feeling, he muses one last time as Hinata nibbles on his lower lip.

It's just _Hinata Shouyou_.

**Author's Note:**

> special thanks to the hoshihina gc on twt for dealing with my dumbass brain i love u guys <3
> 
> hmu on twt @/kiyootiii


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